I think a lot of us often ask ourselves where did the day go, where did the week go, where for the love of Mary is my life going? I surely do. And if you’re anything like me, your response at such times is to try to wring more “value” from each day by doing more things, more quickly. Unfortunately, for the short time I can sustain that level of activity, the net result is pretty much just more stress.
This is not how it goes for everyone, of course. My buddy who is a hot shot corporate guy (friends since high school, if you’re wondering) loves thinking up time hacks so he can jam more into his day. Many people also say they thrive on being busy. But I suspect there are plenty of us who do better when we take time to process and be present with what we are doing.
This is something I’ve known instinctively for a long time but have only started to understand and focus on recently. Yes, I’ve been failing at the more and faster approach to modern quality living for a while. It does require you to take a breath and slow down, which is not something that always comes naturally. But I’ve found it to be a skill that, with practice, can increase peace and satisfaction.
Where to start
Probably your first reaction to the idea of slowing down is something like, “so, how can I possibly do that when I have way too much stuff every day?” That is an extremely valid point but based on my experiments with simplifying my own life, it’s not the first area you should look at.
Having too much to do is more about choosing the things you want to focus on in your life. What is really important to you? In my case, for example, do I really want to take valuable time away from watching TV and drinking beer just so I can write blog posts? Sure, it might help to sort my thinking, improve my life and hopefully benefit other people but it’s a tough call.
Obviously it is a big subject but this seems to be the core issue and I plan to share a few things I’m trying in another post. However, as step one, I would suggest you actually try to answer the question of where your days go. What exactly are you spending your time on now? It probably sounds fairly simple, and it is, but I’ve found the process has produced some really insightful and surprising results.
What to do
You can do this with pen and paper but it is probably easier to use some kind of basic word processing app. Essentially all you do is create a double column list that contains your activities for the day (right side) and best guess at a time schedule for working through them (left side). You can just write the time, press the tab key and then write the activity. Only create a list for one day at a time. No forward planning apart from short appointment and to do lists.
You may already be a hardcore scheduler for work, etc. but in this case include everything, right through until you go to bed. Use your daily work schedule as part of the list if that is realistic. However, you may find your official schedule of appointments and tasks is a bit different to your log of how you actually spend time, and you will want to identify why.
It’s not important to break your activities down too much, unless you have a lot of irregular stuff. For example, when I plan a walk, I just block off an hour. That includes 10 minutes at the beginning and end for changing clothes, etc. and the walk itself is 40 minutes. It’s almost always that way. I’ve found most things fit into 15, 30 or 60 minute slots pretty well.
This is meant to be low stress so allow yourself plenty of time to do everything. Yes, it does seem a lot like basic scheduling but the goal is different. You’re not trying to figure out how to pack more into your day; you’re simply trying to become more aware of how you actually use your time now. And to become more present with what you are doing and enjoy the process.
What to expect
I only planned to do this for a couple of weeks but that was three months ago and I’m still learning new things. My wake-up routine is mostly regular so I usually make my list as I have breakfast and then adjust through the day. It is important to be honest. Record how your day actually goes, as opposed to some desired version. For example, if you need downtime, take it but note it. Managing your energy is a skill and the list can help you learn that.
Since starting, I’ve realized a whole bag of stuff, like how much time I spend on news sites as “quick” breaks during work and how long that “quick” beer after work really is. These points are more obvious but I’ve also noticed things like the amount of time I spend on busy work when I don’t want to start difficult but more valuable tasks. I.e., procrastination. I’ve also become more aware of the time I spend caught up in daydreams and reveries. (This site ain’t called Slow dude for nothing.)
Using these insights, I’ve released enough time to, among other things, start reading and exercising again, and to write these blog posts. I am also sleeping more, which is big for me. Being clearer about the finite nature of my time has also made me more careful about what I focus on while being more present has added more light and satisfaction to my day. I still have a distance to go on that second point, though.
It’s a simple idea but one that has proven quite powerful. Anyone should benefit but I think it may be particularly valuable for introverts and others of us who spend a lot of time in our heads. If I’m any example, contemplative people tend to have a more fluid relationship with time that makes us less awesome at time management. Some of that is just part of our process, our hardwired need for space. But we also need to get stuff done. Perhaps this kind of approach can help us do both?
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